I was given strict instructions to constrain my toast to 3 minutes. However it's only fair to you tell you at the outset that I'm not sure I'll manage to say what I need to say in that timeframe. So I suggest you sit back, relax and refill you glasses. If any of you would like to use this opportunity to visit the bathroom or stretch your legs I won't be offended (bride and groom might)..
I've been told my primary task is to tell those of you on Robbie's side of the family a bit more about who Jono is, and what the forces are that shaped him into the wonderful human being he's become. At the same time I've added to the agenda because this is a ripe opportunity for me to give some advice to the married couple, and I don't want to pass that up.
Jono and I have been friends since 1981 when I moved to Cape Town, South Africa and joined the Electrical Engineering department at the University of Cape Town, which is a gorgeous campus situated on the slopes Devils Peak which is part of Table Mountain. Jono and I were students together in a department called CAL - the Central Acoustics Laboratory - where we divided our time between researching how sound travels underwater (Jono was researching how fish find their way around a fish tank) and pausing for tea and biscuits ("biscuits" are something like cookies, only they taste good). Because this was during the apartheid years we could also sit on the steps of the main auditorium, Jameson Hall, for a change of scene, and look down on the squatter camp of Cross Roads, 20 miles or so away, and contemplate the destruction from the ongoing conflict between the police and residents. But it was over tea and biscuits that the more serious questions in life were discussed - in particular because the demographic at CAL was almost exclusively unmarried men in their early 20s anxious to improve the effectiveness of their dalliances with the opposite sex.
Jono and I agreed that, at this stage of life, it would be a great advantage to be blind. Being reasonable average young men, we were overly influenced by what women look like. That distorted our ability to perceive their inner beauty and caused us to be overly superficial and concerned too much with physical appearance.
I got over it much quicker than Jono - I was married in 1985, 19 years before this great day. That said, I'm in a particularly good position to advise Jono on this next part of his journey. You see, while it's beneficial before marriage to be blind, the preferred afflictions change with marriage. The type of affliction changes, but also the magnitude of the benefit if you get it right. I'm sure all those of you who are married will agree with me that once married, it no longer helps to be blind. But it really helps to be deaf, because a wedding essentially signals to your bride an open field on all kinds of requests. I can already hear the bickering about whose turn it is to take out the trash, take the dog for a walk, and other critical aspects of living together.
Now because I may not have this platform if you decide to have kids, I want to take this lesson in life one step further and let you know that deafness no longer suffices if you choose to have children. The pressures intensify and the chores increase. Then the only real defence if you can pull it off is paralysis - honey I wish I could help but I just can't do it.
But to get back to Jono. Jono lived his entire life in Cape Town before emigrating to this part of the world. He was raised by his devoted parents, Esther and Frank, in the suburb of Camps Bay overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. For me visiting Jono's parents was always a treat because it was about the only time I got a square meal and Esther's a very good cook. Jono had the good fortune of having his aunt Bertha, who's here today celebrating with us, as his preschool teacher. Apparently he was a bit of a loner. He didn't do much else beyond mess around in the sandbox - eating much of the sand, as I understand it - so he didn't require too much maintenance. He was a more rebellious student at school. He became a rugby player by the time he got to Camps Bay High School. His father, Frank, was a devoted father and fan and attended all his matches. I remember Frank very well. He was a very dignified man. Jono bears a striking resemblance to him, although Punkie was much better looking. Jono's always been a non-conformer, which was hard in the authoritarian culture of South Africa - my guess is that living there is much like growing up in the Bush household - but despite his rebelliousness Jono's leadership qualities were recognised and he was named a Prefect, which is a South African school tradition and a great honor.
I'd like to turn my attention to Robbie for a bit so as not to be too one-sided. I know her much less well than I know Jono but am very fond of her and, much more importantly, she and Jono strike me as an extraordinarily good match. To help me out, I decided this morning to indulge in a little pre-marital Googling What comes up when you type Robbie Singal in is:
* The Bushwhacker Newsletter: News Briefs 1998.
* Designing Women: ...............
* And then a curious entry, Submillimeter Arrays: Calendar .....
* It goes on to an interesting entry: Singal gets married but chooses to remain Single, which is even more curious
* And then it kind of goes off the deep end, to Alliance of overclocking arts
But I thought the Submillimeter array entry was interesting, so I double clicked. [this google riff omitted]
All that said, and before I close, I thought there was one more useful life's lesson to impart - again based on my 19 years of married life. And that is the relationships go through ups and downs and in relationships one has to take the good with the bad. For example, I think it's the case that my wife Linda and I love one another more now that when we were married. But what I know for sure is that we love each another more now that we did 10 years ago ..... when we absolutely hated each other.